The microthief: a small story about very small theft

November 22 2010, 12:30 PM  by Bernie Michalik
As I was waited to get a coffee from the Starbucks at the nearby grocery store, I noticed an old lady at the salad bar nearby. She was neither poor nor wealthy, and she was quiet. She had a fork, a napkin, and a paper soup bowl resting on the salad bar. Without much movement, she would take a sample of food from the bar and either drop it in the bowl or on the napkin. Then she would eat some of it. I watched her for awhile, for the coffee line was long, and she was more than just testing the food. That and the fact that the soup bowl did not match the ones at the salad bar lead me to think she was slowing eating a small meal via sampling. In effect, she seemed to be stealing a meal, a nibble at a time. I watched her for about 5 minutes, and she was there before I got there, and she was still sampling as I left.

I could be wrong, but it appeared she was stealing very small portions of the food (though given the cost of the salad bar, it could add up to $10+ if you were there long enough, which  is still a small amount for some but not all). I found it fascinating. If she grabbed some food and stuffed it in her purse and tried to leave, she would be acting like a thief and at risk of getting caught. But by acting this way, she could also just say she was sampling and at best be asked to leave. As it is, the Longos staff was busy running the store, and as it was well past lunch time, she pretty much had it to herself. And she looked like she was just picking up some food to pay for at first, though if you watched her for awhile it didn't seem to be the case.

I remember an old episode of Barney Miller that  I watched when I was a kid. A counterfeiter was arrested and brought in to the station for faking $1 and $5 bills. He was a bad counterfeiter, but he had escaped detection for along time because no one imagined anyone would bother to counterfeit such small denominations. But for him, the money was enough. When I saw this women "sampling", I thought the same thing.

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  • Nov 22 2010, 12:51 PM
    blakeeligh (Twitter) responded:
    Your post reminds me of a similar sighting at my grandfather's funeral. He died about 15 years ago, and the reception was held in the church hall. There was loads of food--dishes sent by his favourite restaurants, cheese trays, little cakes prepared by the ladies auxiliary.

    He was something of a public figure, so there were lots of people in the hall, including a little bird of a woman with a shiny hat-like thing on her head (it looked like an ottoman, or a fortune teller's hat). I watched her from my spot in the reception line as she flitted around the food tables. She sampled this and that, tucking every third or fourth item into her tote bag.

    Eventually, one of the righteous old gals from the church sidled up to me and said she thought the woman had crashed the reception to steal food.

    I told her to let her be. My grandfather had been a good Samaritan kind of guy, ready to help anyone with anything, and he loved nothing better than to talk to strangers. Had he been there, I suspect he would have found her a bag and helped her load up.